The Five Love Languages

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman has been a life changing book for me. A friend recommended it many years ago and it still plays an active role in my life today. Dr. Gary Chapman identifies five languages of love: quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.

Understanding people feel loved in different ways was an eye opening experience for me. My marriage and other relationships have all benefited from understanding these five love languages.

My husband and I have researched the 5 languages and have taken the online quiz. We’ve also done some introspection and discovered our primary love languages.

My primary love languages are physical touch and quality time. My husband’s primary love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation. We are speaking different languages when it comes to love. We have different ways of feeling loved and knowing this helps meet each other’s love needs.

My husband can buy me 70 dozen roses and although I would be appreciative of the gesture, it would mean more to me to spend quality time together.

I can buy my husband a gift or give him a huge hug, but nothing would be better than giving him a verbal pat on the back and telling him how much I appreciate him.

Knowing each other’s primary love languages helps us in assuring our “love tanks” are always on full.

How do you identify your primary love language and your partner’s primary love language?

1. Take the online quiz:

2. Buy the book or research their website:


3. Do some introspection. Ask yourself these questions:

-How do you or your partner express love to others?

This helped me in pin pointing my primary love language. Most people tend to give love in the ways they need to receive love. I hug people all the time and consider myself a “hugger.” I also value one on one time with people in my life. Hence physical touch and quality time are the moments I feel the most loved.

-What do you or your partner complain about most often? 

I noticed a pattern of me needing that one on one time to have adventures together. Quality time for me makes me feel loved and bonded.

-What do you or your partner request most often?

For me, I need hugs throughout the day. Not just a drive-by hug but a real tight, squeeze-me hug that put all my broken pieces back together.

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman is a must read! Discover your primary love languages and your love tank may never run out of gas again.

-The Happy I Learned About Love Tanks Stepmom

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