Metamorphosis of Love

My stepmom metamorphosis.

As a child, I had day dreams about my knight in shining armor coming to rescue me and falling in love. As an adult I became a little more realistic, but I still held onto hope that my one true love was out there. And he was.

I just never imagined my one true love, would have a divorce under his belt, two children, and a past with conflict.

Not quite what I had pictured.

For me to truly accept my situation, I had to grieve the loss of what I expected “falling in love” to be and I had to redefine love.

My husband understood this reality for me. We worked together to accept our situation and allowed ourselves to truly fall in love.

I never wanted him to feel shame for being divorced. This didn’t define him or his identity. In fact, his divorce allowed him freedom from the shackles. He had an opportunity to transform into the man he was destined to be. It allowed both of us an opportunity to meet each other, fall in love, nurture our souls, and find the love and support we’ve always craved and hope for.

We’ve worked as a team to redefine love.

Redefining love in my mind wasn’t easy. Accepting the change took time, hard-work, many honest conversations with my husband and with myself. Researching, reading, and taking time to self-reflect allowed me to see a new perspective to redefine love.

Now I feel in control of my situation. I’ve grieved the loss of what I thought “falling in love” would be. And in turn, my definition of love went through a metamorphosis, and is even better than I ever knew possible.

The love my husband and I have is one of a kind and something I never knew I could be a part of. I’m grateful we both had an opportunity to embrace our situation and metamorphosize into the love we have today.

-The Metamorphosized Stepmom

Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.

Comment 1

  1. April 17, 2016

    I know what you mean! The first time I met my husband, I instantly dismissed him… too old, too many kids, too established in his career (I was a grad student at the time, so I assumed he would look down on me for being naive and poor). I was divorced, so I couldn’t judge that, but he was TWICE divorced, and I didn’t have any kids, so it was just “different.” I just thought “Not for me” and didn’t talk to him any more at that party. I’m so glad I was forced into his vicinity again after almost a year of dating people who fit my demographic better, but were much worse prospects… I would have missed out on the guy my single friends call “the last good man on earth” haha 🙂

    Thank you for this post, it reminded me of how grateful I am that I stopped thinking so narrowly… Good on you for taking the time to adjust your expectations so you could fully enjoy the reality of your love!

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