Mother’s Day is just around the corner. For stepmoms and their partners this can be a tricky day to navigate. Emotions can run high and anxiety can brew.
Some recognize Mother’s Day. Some recognize Stepmother’s Day, which is the following Sunday. Some make up their own day. No matter which day you choose, it’s important to honor the woman in your life who is in the stepmom role.
Bio-moms are often recognized, while stepmoms can be overlooked. Attending church one Sunday, the pastor kept mentioning mothers and fathers and not once mentioned stepmoms and stepdads. In the greeting card aisle there are hundreds of options for bio-moms, while stepmoms only get a few. What’s more, autocorrect doesn’t even recognize “stepmoms” as a word. This comes as no surprise. And stepmoms are by no means trying to take credit for carrying a baby for nine months and taking part in the birthing process. We get it. We’re not the bio-mom. However, we are in a mothering role and we deserve to be recognized.
Flowers, gifts, chocolate, wine, and tokens of appreciation are always nice but what do stepmoms really want on Mother’s Day?
We want to feel loved.
Last year for Mother’s Day my husband took the girls out to blow up a picture of me and them on one of our girls’ day adventures. He had them pick out a frame and presented it to me on Mother’s Day. This made me feel very loved. My stepdaughters also took initiative at school and made me a Mother’s day card and a flower out of pipe cleaners. Just the thought of my husband taking the time and the girls thinking about me, made me feel very loved.
We want to feel supported and appreciated.
Stepmoms walk a tightrope trying to keep everything in balance and not make any missteps. One thing we really want is to feel supported.
My husband took the time to write me a note. This note meant more to me than any gift. In his note he wrote, “I am so grateful for you. Seeing you with the girls makes me feel dreams do come true. I am convinced I would not be the man I am today without you by my side.” His words resonated with me and made me feel truly supported and appreciated.
Stepmoms cook, run errands, attend sporting events, help with showers, bedtime routines, laundry, cleaning, and shopping. We nurse wounds both physically and emotionally. We give guidance and support to our husbands and our stepchildren. We teach life lessons. We problem solve. We ride bikes, walk dogs, play catch, paint nails, color, pray, play card games, plant, paint, laugh, nurture, and love. We navigate through challenging scenarios. We lead by example. We appreciate knowing our efforts are noticed. Receiving appreciation for everything we do, makes it all worth it.
Encouraging your children to make a card or craft, spending time together, or expressing your appreciation and support by writing a note can mean the world to us stepmoms.
Mother’s Day can cause stepmoms to be overwhelmed with a variety of emotions. Flowers, gifts, chocolates, and wine are always nice, but give your teammate something better…
Give her love, support, and appreciation.
-The Gift of Love Stepmom
Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.