Have you ever thought about the kind of partner and stepmom you are and the kind of energy you give off?
The stepmoms I work with feel they waste precious energy on worry, anxiety, and negative thoughts and that their thoughts can become obsessive and all consuming at times.
Obsessive thoughts can cause you to feel unhappy, angry, or just unsettled. Oftentimes the things you worry about the most, are the least important things in your life. This energy then leaks into your relationships.
If you repeat scenarios over and over in your mind or blame others for how you feel, you could benefit from learning how to shift your energy. You may obsess about why certain things happened in the past. You might feel anxiety about what could happen in the future. You may blame external factors, but utimately YOU are the one steering your energy. Sure negative events occur. People act in unfair ways. People will hurt you and drive you mad by their behavior, but again, YOU can choose whether to get consumed in that energy or not.
When you’re consumed in an energy you want to shift, try these techniques and see what works for you.
1. Write and Purge: Write down your thoughts and feelings on a piece of paper and purge. After you write them down, read them aloud, and then throw them away- ridding yourself of that energy.
2. Be Mindful: Consciously bring your attention to your surroundings or close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath. Focus your mind on something other than your negative thoughts and energy.
3. Reframe: Change your self-talk and perspective. Tell yourself to stop and notice your thoughts. Recognize what triggered the thoughts in the first place. Ask yourself if the thoughts are true? Then create alternatives to replace your thoughts.
4. Self-Reflect: Ask yourself if your energy is helping you or hurting you? If it’s hurting you, recognize it and express the energy you’re feeling (“I’m pissed off!”) and then let it go.
5. Get Physical: Physical activity is great for shifting energy. Go for a walk or run, lift some weights, stretch, or do yoga to turn your energy around.
6. Distract: Find something to do that will distract you from your current thoughts and feelings. Try singing, reading a book, helping someone, or learning something new.
Think about the type of partner and stepmom you want to be. What kind of energy does she put off? Is she anxious and angry or is she calm and joyful?
Instead of being consumed in negative energy and thoughts, try shifting your energy around and remember you are the one in control.
Click here to check out the Stepmom Warrior- Stepfamily Lifeline Services.